Jasmine and I had once discussed about the topic on the approach to friendship generally from the guys' and the girls' point of view. We agreed the approach is different. For the girls, they can call each other everyday, chat online and are not too concern about going out. The guys generally dun talk on phone, dun chat online with each other a lot but make it a point to go out with friends on a regular basis. In summary, girls talk, guys do activities to bond together.
Of course this could just be an over-generalization.
I remembered I always blogged about how nice it is to have a bunch of friends who would be in your life, together with you till the end. I still remember the movie Sex and the City when (I forgot both her names), it was snowing so heavily and one called the other asking if she was free to accompany her on Christmas eve. She immediately rushed out and braved the snow to spend christmas eve with her. Shows like this, and friends and many more would often touch my heart not because of anything but the friendship. I don't believe that is "fairytale" cos I sincerely believe in friends forever.
Lately I kept asking myself, what could be wrong? What went wrong? It could simply be that all these while we were never as close as I thought we are. Or it could just be something which I had done? Perhaps it is just a changing phase in life which make them realise this group of people are no longer important in their lives. Otherwise, it could just be the "JC" syndromes of individualism and incapability to comprehend brotherhood and dun see a need for it. With regards to this, after much interaction with people from all works of life (though there would be sampling error), poly people are generally more sincere, loyal and truthful to friends. To put it in another way, they do not have other needs to pursue such that they have to give up brotherhood. They are just simple people who enjoy spending time with their friends. Sometimes I wish, I could be just as simple.
Not being noble but I often search my own soul and find my own mistakes before pointing my fingers at others. I keep searching for answers, for what I had done wrong. I came up with some hypothesis which I could not verify. This group has an inherent problem all along. We only go out and do things, there is no more interactions beyond this level because everyone is just uneasy in sharing personal things. Everything was superficial. Such bonding is probably weaker than van der waals forces. This is hypothesis 1.
It could be something which I finally told everyone after so many years and even though they didn't react much, but a barrier was built ultimately. This is hypothesis 2.
Hypothesis number 3. There is no girls. As seen in most show, those best friends were either all girls or a mixture of guys and girls. I dun really see a logic behind this but perhaps girls are considered more affectionate and hence would act as a buffer in the group of guys who just couldn't be bothered about a lot of things. We tried. Bringing girls in, bringing your girlfriends in. It just didn't work. Probably because we were from boy's school, inability to connect with girls.
The last hypothesis was the most probable yet the last which I would accept as a reason. No time. Sometimes I really wish to just state two simple facts. Firstly, I am the first one to enter uni and of all the busiest med fac, yet I always made time for the past 2 years until you guys enter uni now. I admit that 2 weeks prior to major exams I would be missing but that's all.
Fact number 2: I was also attached but I always appear for outings. It had never compromised on anything.
Perhaps it is wrong to impose my own principle on others quoting one of the guys. If it is really true, I really have nothing to say.
I hate to admit this but kai xin ren are really so much nicer people. Perhaps it is also an inherent thing that they have the capacity to fully treasure and appreciate friendship. They were the ones who would come comfort me and ask me out for a chat or drink or something when I was down. Though I always felt weird in the group but I am very touched by their friendship and commitment. A wide range of ages, from studying to working, to working in different lines, they would come together every weekends to watch movie, eat and chat. Lately, I was obliged to leave due to personal matter. But they had showed me that friendship can be just so simple. It is not about networking, not about whether you are of use to me, not because you are good looking, not because you are rich, not because I have to, but simply just because you are my friend.
whispers..12:22 AM
